Friday, August 20, 2010

Do you know these interesting things about flirting?

Old or young, homosexual or heterosexual, black or white here's one somewhat bizarre form of social behaviour displayed by all of us, albeit in varying amounts and to varying degrees of success. Whether it be a coy glance or a toss of the head, people of all cultures (and even some animals) like to partake in the time-old ritual of flirting.

Why We Flirt

According to Dr Monica Whitty of the University of Western Sydney, there are a few different reasons why we flirt. Generally we flirt to stimulate sexual interest, but sex is not always the ultimate goal. Often people flirt to see if people find them attractive, but apparently we sometimes flirt just for the fun of it.

Evolutionary psychologists argue that we flirt in order to protect the procuration of the species: ie flirting leads to sex which leads to babies. However, this view doesn't explain why homosexual people or elderly people also like to flirt.

Dr Whitty says that flirting exists in all cultures, although the meaning may vary in one culture to another. The emphasis on the eyes stays the same, but issues such as personal distance may vary.

Why Some People Are More Naturally Flirtatious than Others

While successful flirting is largely subconscious behaviour, flirting can be learned and studies have shown that young girls learn flirtatious behaviour from older women. Flirting also relates to self-confidence and extroverts tend to be more flirtatious than introverts. The more relaxed and confident you are about your ability to attract, the more flirtatious you will be.

How To Flirt

Dr Whitty says that while a lot of women may not like to admit it, much flirting is firmly fixed in gender stereotyped sexual behaviour. Women tend to try and look friendly, submissive and approachable thereby reducing the male's fear of rejection. She identifies some common flirting signals as follows:


This relates to body movement and usually starts with eyes and lips. A flirtatious couple will hold eye contact across a crowded room. They may use an ';eyebrow flash' which means raising the eyebrows up and lowering them quickly.

A meeting of eye contact, a look away and a look back is another sure sign of interest. Women may look up from beneath their eyelashes, meaning ';I'm here and I'm waiting for you to approach me';.

There's also a physiological reason for the interest in eyes: our pupils tend to enlarge when we look at something we like and we usually rate people as more attractive when they have large pupils. In fact, some Italian women used to use a herb to make their pupils larger. Remember though that the lighting and other factors such as drugs will have an effect on pupil size!

Lip-licking, touching or pouting the lips is a sign of sexual interest. Likewise, tossing the head and exposing the neck, a traditionally vulnerable area, is a sign that we are non-threatening and willing to submit to another's advances. It puts the other person at ease. This is one of the behaviours that is also sometimes used by other animals.

Another kinetic signal shared by animals is preening. Birds, peacocks and even cats and dogs will lick themselves or fluff up their coats/feathers in a bid to attract a member of the opposite sex. Likewise, humans will play with their hair, or adjust their clothing as part of the flirting ritual.


The next stage in flirting relates to personal space. The closer you stand to someone, the more seductive your approach. In Western society, 4ft is roughly the level at which we feel comfortable with a stranger, so if they come closer to you, they will either be perceived as seductive, or aggressive. Common steps to get closer to someone will be to offer a light for a cigarette, or to push your glass closer to their's. Leaning forward is again a sign of interest (or a very noisy environment!).

Haptics (Touch)

At close contact, humans might take preening a step further by actually touching or grooming the other: brushing a hair off their lapel, for example. Men are more likely to use touch than women, therefore a woman approaching a man in this way will be seen as quite forward.

Heres my source -鈥?/a>

Do you know these interesting things about flirting?
No I didn't ;) Interesting :) I just found out I was very forward when I first met my boyfriend,lolDo you know these interesting things about flirting?
See you're getting and giving knowledge ;) Yes you did. When I first met him I would touch his arm or back every time I came in contact with him. I didn't know it was considered so forward,lol. Thanks :)

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I have been flirting with a woman i really want to get with - but she keeps going hot and cold on me and? be honest it is driving me crazy and making me want her more...

I want to know how i can reverse this? Bearing in mind if i start ignoring her too much and she is changing and going cold on me, then we will have no contact.

Anyone have any suggestions on how i can reel her in, so i can get closer?I have been flirting with a woman i really want to get with - but she keeps going hot and cold on me and?
Ditch the *****! I have no time for women who play ignorant emotional games, they are very screwed up and will screw you up as well. It sounds as if you are well on the way to this now. Get rid of her, yes, the loss will hurt but you will be much better off without her.

Hey ladies what is a definite sign of not just flirting with a guy but that you want him?

Yes I am well aware of how most women flirt. My question is what are the things you may do when your not just flirting with a guy but when you want him to ask you out or come back to your place later? Guys pay attention this info is key to our survival in the dating world!Hey ladies what is a definite sign of not just flirting with a guy but that you want him?
Women don't know what they want, you see how many answered this question... I think it is crazy that women say they want one thing but if it is in their face they choose something else. So until they hit 27 or so, they are confused.Hey ladies what is a definite sign of not just flirting with a guy but that you want him?
If you want to know what a woman wants, ask her. If she can't tell you, that's her problem. If you like her enough, stay and listen while she figures it out. Or if not, just move on. Don't insult us all based on your silly stereotypes.

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I've found that a girl that can't end a pointless conversation PROBABLY wants your nutz. If she keeps saying ';goodbye' with her mouth and ';hello'; with her eyes AND it takes about 6-7 ';goodbyes'; before you walk away then there's a good chance that she's interested.

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  • What would you do if you were in my shoes?

    i met this guy via internet and i though we have basically fallen head over heels have a lot in common and so forth.we have even spoken of meeting.

    up until he told me how some women flirt with him on the net.

    he claims its all innocent and flirting but i am starting to wonder if he is doing and saying the same things to them as he is me.

    i am hurt and shocked by what he said i dont know what to do.

    what would you do if you were in my shoes? thanksWhat would you do if you were in my shoes?
    Trust very important in a relationship, if not the most important thing. In my opinion, someone who truly loves you wouldn't flirt with any other people. Of course people are allowed to talk to others but there should be a clear line between the things you say to random people and to your partner. I would have a serious talk with him about how you feel about it and what his feelings towards you are.

    Hopefully it will work out between you two but remember if he's not being loyal to you now, he will never be.

    Be very careful about meeting people from the internet, be sure to know them very well and meet up in a public place. Also tell others where you're going to and who you're going to meet.What would you do if you were in my shoes?
    Well how is he supposed to commit to you when you've never meet? I mean your not technically dating right? So it kinda should of been expected. Internet is a bad way to meet people in my opinion. Truthfully, if you don't know what this guy is doing on the internet, then how you expect to know who he really is? So many people will pull a couple of white lies just to make themselves sound better than they are in person. I mean if you ever were to meet, if you feel even now that you can't trust him, then as always anyway, you should meet him in a public place. Plus, maybe some friends on the side, and DONT go into a house even with friends until you really get to meet this guy. He might not even be the person you thought he would be. So whatever you decide to do, be safe, and best of luck.
    I would not meet him in person. I would start doing something with my life other than being on the net at the time he is supposed to be there. Then say, OPS, I was at the dentist. I was shopping and got carried away with time. I was caught in traffic when returning from the post office. Things like that. Once you start pulling away from him, it will not be hard to dump him.
    dont bother meeting him i am sure he is doing and saying the same to other people. give up on people like him u can do further better! dont let him play bout with ur mind that is what i would do. but its up 2 u on what u want to do. i am me and you are different so u might want to do sumthing different. it is all up 2 u but, couldnt you do much better than this?
    If I was in your shoes I would dump em. Meeting people on the internet and then meeting them is very dangerous, even if you think he is safe. It is actually illegal. Don't do it. Just give him another chance, but don't meet him!
    i am not sure;_ylt=AhfmL7RWKp916DHOcnAT2CHsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080517145359AA2DkB3
    umm i actually dont get serious on net wit people....coz u never know what the person iz actually.

    if i were in ur shoes ...n i actually liked d guy i'll get straight to

    him.....mayb b a lill rude n blunt...but i would get things straight......

    gal people make 5 - 10 galfrnds on can u ever b sure ur not one of them??
    i wouldnt meet him innocent flirting leads to dating u don't want a guy who is going to u bc his ';innocent flirting'; didn't work out.
    I wouldn't even try falling in love wiht someone over the internet
    if he told you that he flirts then other girls then he's not serious with you. stop talkin to him.
    Unfortunately, guys who tend to have a relationship or chat on line, expect him to be talking to numerous girls. Sorry to say but, its really not smart to just trust a guy who you just met on the net, you know? If he says that women flirts on him on line, it means he talks to them that's why he flirts with him. He say nice things to them and they do the same thing. They could make you envision them as your dream guy or a nice guy even if they aren't. You maybe fallen head over heels for him, but are you sure he really is? Stop it now while you can. You might miss him in a week or two but it would save you for heart ache in the future. Just be careful, Oppss.. if you maybe stop talking to him on line and a week or two he became so persistent leaving msgs on line, just maybe, he really cares for you. But if you just stop talking to him and in a week or 2 he didn't make any effort to contact you, well, you would know why? He might be having some spare to share his sweet thoughts.

    Why do single women like to flirt with an obviously married man?

    whereever we'd go ....the store or a resturant, right in front of me, a checkout clerk blatently flirted w/ my husband! it is so rude and heartless. how should i handle this? what could i say to ward them off? thanks!Why do single women like to flirt with an obviously married man?
    Tell er ya husband don't date smelly people.Why do single women like to flirt with an obviously married man?
    I think one of the biggest reasons women do this is because they know its safe. What I mean by that is they know they can do it and not expect to be asked out or pursued. Its like the women who hang out with gay men, they do it because they know there not going to get hit on. If the flirting is bothering you than say something to the person when it happens. Look at it this way, its obvious your husband still has the looks right? So in a way flirting is a compliment. It might be heartless of women to do this, but if you trust your husband it shouldn't matter.
    At the restaurants, they are just trying to get a better tip. The rest are possibly interested....but you should just take it as a compliment. Take their flirting as them telling you that you have a really great guy. If you trust your husband, then you have nothing to worry about. I know it can be frustrating when your significant other is constantly being hit on, but it doesn't have to be. Instead of letting it upset you it should build your confidence. You have somebody that others would want....and he loves you.
    Take it as a compliment. They can flirt all they want, but he's your husband so you win!

    Don't be so insecure about it. Roll with the punches.

    -Is that gasoline I smell?
    100% all the time, they like to think there better than the wife and can offer more... by not caring is showing these pathetic girls that they have got nothink on you. your husband should also be sending a clear message to them !

    answer mine please;鈥?/a>
    Flirting is a game. The game is only over when someone askes you out.

    Look at it this way, the flirting is safe flirting. They know he's obviously taken, so they want him that much more. Flirting is a safe way to display interest, but also be sure that you wont hook up. A lot of women wont cheat or particiapate in cheating. But flirting is still funn!


    How can I deal with other women flirting with my husband?

    I get really hacked off when other women flirt with y husband. He's friendly and great to chat to, unlike lots of men in our social circle, which is partly why I love him. Unfortunately other women (one in particular) take this as an opportunity to flirt. don't mind if they're good friends, and just having a bit of a laugh but there is one in particular who is constantly calling him a nickname and touching his arm and it really gets to me. He of course thinks it is all just friendliness and I have no suspicions whatsoever that he is or has been unfaithful. It annoys me because I feel like they're disrespecting me (it seems to go hand in hand with ignoring me, or being considerably less friendly, even though I try to be friends with everyone). Any advice GREATLY appreciated...How can I deal with other women flirting with my husband?
    While I can relate to your situation, as I myself have a cute hubby who is a people person, people just cling to him %26amp; are drawn to him, %26amp; that,s ok, as I am the woman who he comes to night after night, I am the woman who he shares his most intimate secrets %26amp; dreams, %26amp; just like me, you have a hubby who comes home to only you! At the end of the day, this man is all yours! %26amp; from what Im hearing from you I just cant see that your doing anything wrong or behaving in a imature manner, so what if some bimbo flirts with him, he is yours, not hers! %26amp; He loves you! If you start showing jealous behavior %26amp; actions, this will cause your husband to question your trust %26amp; respect in him, %26amp; then you will have problems, so just keep on dealing with it as a strong independent woman, as these are the reasons your husband picked you as his wife, dont change that! %26amp; Who cares if some woman doesnt respect you? The only person who requires your respect is your hubby, so stop feeling weak, %26amp; understand what %26amp; whos important here, not the bimbo, not his friends, but you %26amp; him!How can I deal with other women flirting with my husband?
    as an Italian woman I could never accept all you said, na lieeeeeee-o! it's all a lie what he says though he may not know, but his ';friends'; do for sure so ... if you don't want to pass as a ';stupid and ingenuous'; wife.. well... either you beat them or warn him seriously
    While it is apparent he does not mind and you do, he is blowing off your emotions, and is truely not showing any respect towards you or your wishes.

    Tell him that if he does not put an end to this soon, then you will go to her and tell her yourself, do not be afraid, show your husband you have a backbone and fight for you man, and if he gets upset that you are doing this, then tell him that he is making no move to get her off his arm, and now it is your turn.

    Your husband is your man, go to her tell her to ';get off'; on someone else and if you ever catch her on his arm again you will personally see to it that everyone knows what kind of a ';flirt'; among other things, she is at work!!!!!

    Your husband thinks you are not going to do anything and he loves the ';thrill'; of the ';game'; show him otherwise, that there is no ';thrill'; in it for you and that this ';game'; is not fun for you anymore!!!!!!

    Get a backbone, be tough, girlfriend and fight for your man!!!!

    Get that horndog off of his arm!!!!!

    That is what I would do!!!!!!!
    My advise is to tell your husband that you do not appreciate what he is doing and how you feel about it....He knows exactly what is going on so don't let him fool you....he eats up that attention and it is about the same as cheating on you....I wouldn't like it done to me either.....And I am glad that it don't, but my wife and I are not that way. You should give your husband the ';whats for'; about that and don't let him slide or try to get out of it......(smile)
    I find myself smiling when I see other women flirting with my husband. I think he's the sexiest man in the world, so I would expect others to find him attractive. I know he's in love with me, and he makes no secret of it to others. In a twisted way, it makes me feel good that others want him and can't have him.

    However, if it were a friend of mine who constantly flirted to the point I felt it was flaunted in my face, I certainly would have a talk with my husband about boundries and let him know it is his place to tell her to back off. There is a fine line between innocent flirting and disrepect.
    Stop being so possessive and live with it or he may run into her arms and then you will regret what ever you said in the past about him - love and respect him for him and justice will serve
    You cannot control another's actions - only your own. To some extent you do have some control over your spouse's actions for you have become ';one-flesh'; with him through marriage (his body is yours and yours, his) and you will be held accountable unto him and him unto you.

    For this, your problem is not with any other person than your husband! HE is the one that you should deal with. Somehow, in his actions and words, he is not supporting you as his wife and your jealousy is not unfounded.

    Women come on to me continually (no joke) and my wife is not jealous one tiny bit for she knows that she is #1 and nothing, NOTHING will pull me away from her. She is content in her position as wife and I give her all honor and respect for her place in my life.

    Your husband is not. Take this to him for he is the one being irresponsible.

    May I recommend the book - ';Boundaries'; by Cloud and Townsend for you / he have boundary issues to define and establish. He is crossing the line and you are feeling the pain.
    Try and ignore it. If you think the women have crossed the line, take them aside individually and say that it bothers you when they blatently flirt with your husband. Tell them you think its great that your husband can have so many friends, but you would appreciate it if they kept the behaviors platonic. This is, however, risky as it may cause hurt feelings.

    The important thing is that you trust your husband. It takes two people to be ';cheating';, etc, so you have nothing to worry about. These women probably have nothing better to do than to flirt with married men. It's quite sad, really.
    I imagine your husband is Innocent, as you say, but unfortunately there are women who insist upon behaving this way, sooooo shameful!!! I think the best way to handle this is let your husband know how it makes you feel, maybe he could be less friendly with her. He could say my name is Bill, not Mr. Hotty (example only:) ), and definitely pull away when she touches him and then turn his attention to you. She will eventually get the hints, get bored and move on to some other poor woman's husband. So sorry for you, she is being VERY disrespectful to you.
    He's with you, right? Be happy.
    Lady, have you heard the phrase familiarity breeds contempt. It is normal that when you get to know a person too well that he or she takes you for granted. I do not know your levels of faith or belief in God but i will not take the spiritual angle right now.

    You need to be extremely nice and not aggressive-you must start taking care of yourself-go the the gymn and work out a little and start pampering yourself-buy some good clothes for yourself-get your hairstyle better-get a facial-and begin to looking great. Them you must start concentrating on what you do-maybe a job etc and keeping away and ignore what he does.

    Men like attention and hate to be ignored-once you start looking good and intelligent he will start liking you. NEVER LET YOURSELF BE TAKEN FOR GRANTED. Start building your self respect-always remember it swings both ways-guys will start recognising you for your beauty and brains and start flirting with you and believe me you too will enjoy it and make your husband jealous as well.

    Always remember that people including your parents see you as they want to see you and not as you want to see yourself-it is either God or your parents who want to see you as you want to see yourself-that鈥檚 the catch-your husband comes in other people-that鈥檚 human nature unless your husband has a strong belief in God and has massive love and compassion.

    Start enjoying life and do not become vain and bitter because it will only make you look uglier. It is a beautiful world and you have a right to be here-you are no lesser than the moon and the stars-you are a beautiful person.

    Take care and be blessed.
    Get him to join an all mens group. Stay away from the women.

    I think an older women flirted with me! What should I do?

    First Fact: I'm 26.

    last night I was going home from work so stop by a pizza place to end my hunger. While I'm eating and check the news on my phone, a woman wearing a tank top (with no under dress) sits in front of in the other table with her friend (an woman). So take a look and I say in my mind: ';Look at her, she's probably 45-46 and still dressing sexy. Whatta self confidence!';. Frankly, she was somehow sexy, fitted and had makeup.

    So, I keep eating my pizza without really thinking about her anymore and I realized that she speaks my mother-tongue. So I jumped in and we talked about politics and some other boring and very unsexy stuff.

    When she's done with her dinner, she walks to me to shake hands and introduces herself. So stand up and shake hands and say my name.

    She asked me how often I come here. So, I say: ';not very often but I usually hang out not too far from here';.

    And she says: ';We are usually here for walking everynight and hope to see out again'; !

    And she left with a big smile in her face. I admit that she was very feminine and stunning at her age.

    I'm not a sexy guy, but I'm tall and I'm big but not an athlete.

    Here's my question, should I go there again and to see her, cause I'm single and I feel the need to have sex but I don't want a relationship with an older woman, although she's sexy.

    What should I do? Was she really flirting with me, or it's just how I like to think about it?I think an older women flirted with me! What should I do?
    Go for it dude, you have nothing to lose and she could show you things in bed that will rock your world. Just keep going back there and talk to her some more and see where it leads. You already know her name so your have an advantage.