My husband has cheated on me a few times, other women flirt with him, and everyone here says IM overeacting?

My husband has cheated on me a few times before. Other women are constatly flirting with him, and he lets them. I'm afraid it will lead to another episode of him cheating on me again. All i want is some advice on what to say, but so far, everyone is telling me that i am taking it out of proportion and i need to stop complaing. I love my husband, so i'm not just going to leave him. But i would like some advice on wha ti can say or do? I mean, how would YOU feel if you spouse has cheated on you, and others still flirt with them.My husband has cheated on me a few times, other women flirt with him, and everyone here says IM overeacting?
he wouldn't do that to you if he really loved and respected you. what he is doing to you is abuse, while not physical, but emotionally. if i were you i'd sleep with other men, or even make him think you did or is seeing someone else and see how he reacts. i would start flirting with other men in front of him, gve him a taste of his own medicine. if he gets really mean to you about it i'd really leave him. i probably would leave him anyway. did he really even apologize to you when he cheated? how old is he? from the sound of it he is a die hard womanizer, and from his distasteful behavior to other women in front of you, it sounds like he will get some more from another woman if he wants to anytime. you should complain. you don't deserve that. he's a sexist pig. divorce him.My husband has cheated on me a few times, other women flirt with him, and everyone here says IM overeacting?
He encourages it ?? Or ignores it? I think he is insecure and will cheat again.. So the question is .Do you deserve to live like this.. How much can you take?? Cause it will continue. You are staying, It's your problem.. Until you take responsibility for You, and your feelings.. Don't bother asking any questions. You know the answer you just aren't listening. LEAVE. And start treating yourself better.. NOW
You never mentioned that he had cheated on you before, you cant expect people to just know that without you telling them.....OK so he has already cheated, why are you still there? You should probably leave....and i don't blame you for worrying, you should......





But if you are there, not saying anything to him or them, then you are letting it happen to you....take control of your life
If his only error is this, and you are satrisfied by him in every othe respect, then try to be proud of that how good-looking and popular husband you have. I think this is much better than the opposite with an impotent husband.
Young Lady,


My wife and I are extremely happy and we are loyal to one another and to GOD. I suggest that you find a Non-Denominational Church near your home and begin a BIBLE Study with them. You and your husband should both begin doing so ASAP. She and I were married 32 years ago and became Christians after such a study over twenty years ago and we could not be any happier. GOD has assisted us in getting through every rough time that we have ever had. We have three children and one grandson. Our two daughters and our daughter-in-law are all Christians also. I would be glad to assist you in finding a Bible Study if you need assistance. Have a great weekend.


Thanks,


Eds








.
Well, the difference is that you stayed and I did not. To me, when one cheats, they have violated the most sacred of vows in a marriage. You obviously do not trust him any longer and you fear that he will cheat again. The problem is that you are probably right, he will most likely do it again. Why, cheaters rarely change, and you let him get away with it before, so he knows that he can get away with it again.





Maybe you should tell him that given his past track record that his flirting with other women or letting them flirt with him bothers you and that you fear it will lead to another cheating event. If it does, that you will not only leave him and divorce him, but you will take him for all you can. Not that he will believe you, but he needs something to worry about if he cheats.
Flirt with guys in front of him and see what his reaction is. Also I would say he's cheated before he's more than likely to cheat again. You can stay and deal with it or leave and not have to deal with it. The decision is yours no one elses.
How can you stay with a man who repeatedly cheats on you. You probably don't know all of the times -- just the times you caught him. And he obviously has no intention of stopping. It almost sounds like you still want him just because everyone else apparently wants him. In a real marriage, other women may want him, but they can't have him. You do not have a marriage any more. If he knows he can cheat as much as he wants to, and not lose you, then he will continue to cheat as often as he wants.





You have all the evidence you need to get a huge divorce settlement out of him, because of his repeated cheating. You deserve a man who loves just you -- not the whole town! If you put up with it, then why ask people on here about it?





Divorce his a-s-s, and then see how many women still want him when he is totally broke and homeless from an expensive divorce.
Get AIDS...........it's free! I hope you are getting the sarcasm here, because if you know that he has cheated before (and it's obvious that he will continue to do so) and you aren't concerned about safety then you deserve what is coming to you. So in my eyes you have 2 options 1. You need to get out of the relationship or 2. You need to stop complaining and go with the flow..........share him, cause sharing is caring!
Your first question didn't state that he cheated on you before. That is why the over reaction, reaction from people. I don't understand why women put up with the cheating husband or boyfriend. I am not putting you down, it seems like a common occurrence. If it were me, I would, like I said before make myself always look the best that I could. When and if I found out my husband was cheating on me, I would raise holy hell!!!!!!!!!!! I would make him so miserable that he would run from the sight of me, I would twist his head in ways that he never knew it could be twisted, I would use my pain and anger to assure that cheating on me, or his NEXT partner would be the scariest option he could think of.
your not over acting at all


tell him how you feel and all of that


be opne with him and if you cant get out


find a ohter place to stay
You didn't say anything about him cheating in your previous question. If he's cheating on you, you need to leave. Otherwise, stop complaining about it. You sound like a whining baby, instead of a grown woman. Keep it up and you won't have to leave. He will.
Split the scene Jelly Bean!


Get yourself a real man!!
To answer your last question. It would seem to me that you could feel disrespected and that your marriage vows weren't respected by him. You might feel angry and hurt.


What to do? You didn't ask but you apparently either need to learn to like or at least accept they treatment or revise your thinking about your relationship (i.e., your leaving).
I try not to put my own personal life out on the air waves but we have been there a time or two but we made it. Trust is something that is easily destroyed and takes an enormous amount of strength to regain. Since you love your husband so much then sit him down and talk to him. Maybe you never really talked about how you felt when he cheated before. If you are in fear of reprocutions of talking to him then write it all down. I know I still have my moments when I think something is going on but it is because we have been hurt by someone we love so much. It is okay to hurt and cry but don't let it ruin your relationship. Sometimes we hold on to emotions (unintentionally) and they rear their ugly head when we really are trying to suppress them. If you don't get this out now then it will keep hurting. You can not do anything to change anyone else. You can only tell them how you feel when they do what they do. If these women flirt then what can you do. If he enjoys it then what can you do. The only thing that you will have any say so in is what happens with you. Start doing things that boost you up. If you are anything like I was when the truth came out then you maybe feeling like I'm wasn't good enough. Even the strong willed people that get cheated on begin to doubt themselves. Do more self reflection because like it or not if he wants to cheat, you can't stop him. This is all about controlling you and letting yourself know you deserve more than what you recieve. You may not want to leave now but how many more times will you let it happen before you do. I am not saying he has or will cheat again because people do change and if you don't believe people change then look at how much you have changed since he cheated. If you start working on your self worth then if he does cheat again then maybe you'll be strong enough to leave then. Not that you aren't strong now but right now it appears that your love for him is stronger than your love for you. It is not wrong to stay and love him inspite of. No matter how bad you may want to, you can't put his penis on lock and lease it to him when you guys get together. So let him be who he is and start doing things that make you happy and satisfy you. Sooner or later you won't really notice the big flirt because he'll be noticing you. I am not telling you to leave. I am saying that you should start loving you and eventually if leaving is something you should do (despite what anyone says) you will have made that decision on your own and you will not regret a minute of it. Right now you are in turmoil. You are a beautiful woman and you should always remember that. No I don't know you but I have an idea because you care enough to write your question.
If my spouse cheated on me I'd leave her simple as that.
My ex did cheat on me and he found out real fast I don't tolerate cheating under any circumstances and the divorce papers he got slapped with proved that. You're wasting your breath talking to your husband about this, you cannot change him.
You are staying with the guy who has already cheated on you and you know who he is, so since you've made that choice it's really your problem and not his. Stop complaining, it's your choice to stay with him- OR LEAVE HIM!
Hon he is a cheater , and believe me they don't stop .. and a piece of your heart breaks each time.... the thing is he will do it cause he knows you won't leave him.......... why don't you go with what dignity you have even though it will be hard .... but at least he won't hurt you anymore................
Let him know that girls flirting with him in front of you makes you feel uncomfortable and it get you thinking things you don't want to think about him. Tell him trust is a big issue in a marriage and you are trying your hardest to trust him but the girls flirting with him doesn't make it easy and if is serious about you two staying in the marriage then that is what you need him to do.


Good Luck
I would be honest about my feelings and communicate them in a nice way. As long as he is not flirting back and giving them the come on you have to believe that he is not intrested in messing up what you both have decided to rebuild.Talking with him about what you are feeling and him working through this with you may help the situation. When he cheated on you he broke your trust and you will always probably feel that you have to look over your shoulder.Nothing ever feels the same about the relationship after infidelity has occured in it. You can only be open and honest about your emotions over what has happened and your husband has to help carry your pain. You cannot control how other women respond to him but only talk with him about how he reacts to them when they do. If he truly is working on the relationship with you then don't let it bring you down. I hope you both had marriage counseling after you discovered he was cheating ? If not you really need to get it and both learn how to deal with everything for the future. Take care and best wishes.
You arent overreacting. LEAVE HIM!
This has happened to me and was the reason why I divorced I was very upset and angry and still find it difficult to trust men even now 7 years on! I'd tell him straight to either stop cheating and flirting or I'd leave him.


mandyr
My wife and I are not the jealous type. We both flirt. Sometimes encourage it. Mostly because we BOTH know who we are going home with.( each other ). I have often thought of what I would do if she cheated. Although I know deap in my heart she wont. Once.... I would forgive. Twice... I would leave.
you must the God for your luck.
In your original question, you did not say he had ever cheated on you! Don't you realize that changes things completely?





When someone cheats on another person, he should take on an obligation of living his life openly and accountably. This is necessary in order for trust to be regained. Assuming he wishes to remain married to you, tell him what the rules are and that he must follow them. Come up with a phrase he is to say when a woman flirst with him, and make an agreement with each other that he is to state it every time a woman flirts. Try something like, ';As a married man, I don't think that was an appropriate thing for you to say.';





I am a firm believer that affairs are not things to just ';get over';. When one person cheats on another, he has some making up to do, some work to go through, some trials to suffer. He needs to learn and grow from having been caught being unfaithful. Requiring him to consistently reject flirting seems like a good step in that direction.
I must say that you are very strong woman, you knew that your husband was and is cheating,and you still forgave him because of your love for him. But do you know that your husband knows how much you love him that is why his using it for his advantage? He knows that he can always have an affair and you will forgive him, this is wrong, and yes you are not overacting about your situation,but you are the problem,can't you see that your showing and telling your husband that its okay to sleep with another woman as long as he comes home to you. Girl come on, where is your self respect and dignity, this will not stop,not the least.


If you will not do anything about it because you love your husband,at least tell him that if he doesn't stop you will ask him to move out because you don't even know if those women are clean sexually. don't let your love for your husband ruin your self respect. The old saying says, if you love someone,you love them enough to let them go
Define ';everyone';. You say ';My husband has cheated on me a few times, other women flirt with him, and everyone here says IM overeacting? '; So..define ';everyone';. You don't say if you both have children. Children do not need to learn how to backstab people from their own mommy and daddy. You say ... ';My husband has cheated on me a few times before. Other women are constantly flirting with him, and he lets them.'; Does that look ';sorry'; to you? Looks like a repeater to me. Talk to his mom privately. See if his dad did this to her and got away with it.





Everyone makes mistakes.. but children must be taught that once a mistake has been made which harms others.. and adultery does hurt everyone ... that mistake must not be repeated.
Forgiving and trying to work it out is something I completely understand and respect. He should be aware that his behavior has left you terribly vulnerable. HE needs to care. It would make me ill to watch flirting. He needs to take every step possible to show he is dedicated to you only. It will take repeated steps for you to probably even believe this. He needs to try. I am so sorry for your problem. I don't think you're whining. Those who'd tell you are that have never had their hearts broken by betrayal. But, also remember, if he does love you and is sorry, he will not be able to prevent the actions of others. So, you need to talk with him and tell him how you feel and what you need him to do when other women flirt. If he is really dedicated to helping your marriage, he will attempt to do what will make YOU feel better. God Bless and good luck to you both. =-)
Ur way pass overreacting, he has already cheated it can't get any worse than that.
Who says you're overreacting? If anything, you're showing restraint. You have 3 options; 1. Get him to couples' therapy. 2. Get a divorce lawyer. 3. Learn to live life as a cheated upon spouse. Personally, I do not recommend number 3.