Monday, August 16, 2010

Woman flirting with husband?

Ok I want to see what others that are no involved in this situation think about this. I've been with my husband for almost 8 years now and have had no problems and things have been great. About 4 to 6 months ago another girl started flirting with him and just recently started txting him. This girl is kind of un-ignorable, shes the sister of my sister in law (my husbands brother's wife's sister). Shes at every family event, everytime we hang out with his brother shes there (shes been living with them for a couple months now), we live next door to my father in law and his has a pool so she comes up all the time to swim with her daughter...I think you get the point. Her flirting has gotten worse the last couple of months, and I have never lead on that it bothers me but she recently started to txt him so now things have gotten under my skin. I havent said anything to anyone besides my husband about it and he says he understands where I'm coming from and does his best to ignore her but like I said above ignoring her is kind of hard to do. My husband is to nice of a guy also and says he doesnt think shes flirting and stuff and I do think that even though he ignores her when I'm around I think he does talk to her and stuff when I'm not around. This girl is the type that thinks any attention from a guy no matter how innocent is like a green light. She also doesnt have a real good reputation, her sister (my sister in law) has told me so many stories about her sleeping with all these guys and half the guys do have girlfriends and wives so I already know a head of time she doesnt care that the guy is in a relationship. Shes the sneaky type also, used to be on drugs now is on meth for rehab, used to steal etc. Shes a real winner believe me. Well my question is even though my husband knows how I feel I do want her to stop txting him, my husband and I arent even sure how she got his number. I keep going back and forth on how to approach this cause she is always confrontational (she has no way of backing up her mouth though). What is the best way for me to approach this with her, my husband just wants to leave it be but I want this girl to know that what shes doing isnt ok and that it needs to stop. My husband has never responded to her txts (he tells me so and Ive seen the proof on our monthly cell bill). So girls out there what do you think, I dont want this escalate anymore than it already has? I want to be adult about this and mature cause I already know shes going to be a ***** so I dont want to sink to her level. She'll be a ***** but she really has no right to be mad, hes not her husband, hes not even her friend, shes not related to us etc.Woman flirting with husband?
Yikes! She doesn't look like a winner to me, must be a real loser instead (and no pride).

I agree that this must stop. Your husband can block her number on his cell phone but that's not enough to cope with the rest of her attempts, while she is in your neighbourhood. Yes, she should be confronted and preferably by your husband. He could text her back: STOP TEXTING ME, I DON'T WANT CONTACT WITH YOU.

If she insists, he could confront her in person, or if you feel it's risky (she could try to turn things around) the two of you could do that together.Woman flirting with husband?
Girl that stupid girl is just making a total fool out of herself your husband has to either get the number changed or ignore her, But if you just have to confront her let him do it then she will know he really don't want her because it's coming from the horses mouth if you do it she will just try to make you more jealous but if he do it she will feel like the tramp she is and he will let he know he has no intentions to be with her trashy self if he do it she will stop but tell him to make sure you are there when he does this if she gets embarrased in front of you yall will never hear from her again she will be to ashamed to show her face a women don't like for a guy to say he don't want her in front of his wife she will not like him anymore.
What ever she does is being done TDHfull confidence and she never cares about the spectrum. If you really think that your Husband is not interested with her having extra marital relation( I have some doubt whether he really thinks so) just call her and tell if she cant stop doing it what she does, every thing be opened to ridicule her prestige. But I hope she is just enjoying as well the charm/warm of extra marital enjoyment. it's very difficult to refrain her, all she needs a man of her choice and unfortunately your Husband is available now.
You're being way to ';adult'; about this when clearly she is not, and neither is your husband for that matter, particularly if he is responding to her messages when you are not around. Let's face it, it can be quite flattering to the ego when some ';sweet young thing'; is being flirtatious and when the ego rules, anything can happen.

What would your husband do if the situation were reversed? I bet he wouldn't be sitting idly by while some ';sweet young man'; was doing the same thing to you! He would confront him wouldn't he and tell him in no uncertain terms to back off?

Sometimes, escalating the problem is necessary for some people to get the message. I would wait until he gets another txt, take the phone and storm her home. In front of everyone I would confront her and tell her in no uncertain terms that her behavior is unacceptable and you won't put up with it any longer. Tell her she either gets her act together or you and your husband will not be attending future family gatherings while she is present. When she claims innocence, show her the phone and tell her that texting your husband is not innocent and it won't be tolerated. Then walk out with your head held high!

Yes, it will be awkward around the family for a little while after this but deep down, I bet they (and your husband) will respect you for standing up for yourself and protecting your marriage. It shows everyone that you think your marriage is worth fighting for.
(Coming from a man - and get past the weird screen name. It's just for laughs)

There are two ways you can handle this in a civil manner.

1. Trust your husband. He did provide the proof you asked for.


2. Become really good friends with this woman (or pretend that you are). This will take the focus off of him.
This woman is ';passive aggressive'; she will give everyone the impression that she is innocent so you will look like the bad one, so be careful how you handle this. The first thing is, since the family is already aware of what a menace she is, they need to stand solidly with you and your husband. You need to enlist their help. I am sure that you have heard of interventions for alcoholics, where everyone gets together and tells the alcoholic how bad they are and what their actions are doing to the family. So, you have to have an intervention with the family, including your husband one day when she thinks she's being cute and innocently flirting with your husband. You all need to tell her that her behavior is disgusting and unacceptable and it needs to stop or she can just hang out somewhere else. Your husband owes it to you to (in front of her and you) tell her that he does not want any communication with her other than that which everyone can clearly hear, that he loves you and would not want to do anything which would upset you and be a threat to your happy home. She is really hoping that your husband will keep her correspondence a secret, that way they have a secret ';relationship'; which is out of line for a married man. You also need to tell your husband that you would feel betrayed by him if he allows this to go on. She may be upset and give you some lip service but if you all hand together on this she will move on.
GIVEN HER REPUTATION AND THE FACT SO MANY LOSE SINGLE WOMEN LOVE TO RUIN OTHER'S MARRAIGES I WILL TELL you she is about to proposition him for sex, he wont tell you not to have a confrontation in the family, men are lousy at communicating.

shes a real desperato showing up at the pool often in her swimsuit and what does she exactly? does she do anything productive like work?

this takes drastic measures, call a family meeting, with her included of course, to reveal the obvious is your best bet, she will become more and more bold, she's a dimwit bimbo who thinks she has nothing to lose. do not underestimate her ability to seduce him.
You and your husband should confront her about it and ask her to stop this inappropriate behavior in front of everyone. If she flies off the handle, just keep your cool and don't raise your voice. Just be firm.
Girlfriend, I'd totally approach her and tell her that you know what she's up to and she needs to back off or you'll make her back off! Be intimidating and get in her face and look crazed! Then just leave. If she starts to say something smart, I'm sorry but I'd kick her ***! Or tell her that she best leave it alone or you WILL beat her ***!!! I hate those kind of girls. How dare she. Get your husband a new phone number or have him block her call. You better let him know that you're not going to make his life pleasant any longer until he puts a stop to this! I'm sure he gets a big head about this. Maybe in more ways than one! Sorry you have to go through this.
You and your husband should speak with her together...present a united front, so to speak. Tell her exactly what your perception is and make it clear to her that it is to stop. Make sure both you and your husband speak...if he sits there like a bump on a log, she's going to assume it's you talking and not a joint effort and she'll keep right on doing it.
I see your point, but it has too be very difficult not to go drag the tramp. I think that first of all, you and your hubby need to switch phones. Second, I'd find out if she has any shame by asking her in front of the entire family at the next gathering what it was she needed when she texted hubby's phone. Another way to look at it is like this.

She is a woman, so she has no excuse to act like she doesn't know that this bothers you. It would sure as hell bother me. She's basically saying screw you, you're nobody. I'd confront her. Do it in private and catch her off guard. Tell her straight out that she has absolutely no business texting your man and you won't tell her twice. Make sure she knows that you aren't going to tolerate it. Remember that most men can only take so much of someone throwing it out in front of them. How pathetic that she has to act so desperate.

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